Thursday, January 15, 2015

Cirith Ungol

Cirith Ungol - Frost And Fire - 1981
Cirith Ungol - King Of The Dead - 1984
Cirith Ungol - One Foot In Hell - 1986
01. Cirith Ungol - Frost And Fire, 1981 Vinyl LP Album
     Restless Records - 70118-1
02. Cirith Ungol - King Of The Dead, 1984 Vinyl LP Album
     Roadrunner Records - RR 9832
03. Cirith Ungol - One Foot In Hell, 1986 Vinyl LP Album
     Roadrunner Records - RR 9681
NRAR. From my non-linear, yet non-ending stream of nostalgia, and despite the fact that the original CD versions are perfect (are there any stupid remasters around for Cirith Ungol anyway?), here are the vinyl versions of the first three legendary CU albums. As crunchy and rocking with swords, wizards and walking skeletons as ever! Heavy metal cosmic perfectizer forever rezer!
Remove brackets and unzip: [one foot in zer]
The cattle is back from the battle. They were Charlie. We can now resume our futile topics, like the 2014 top 10. It is top 10 season, right? What is the Church Of Zer 2014 top 10? Who knows, who cares? I bought too many amazing CDs this year to waste my neuron on sorting and ranking. What about books? Same thing, except I don't think I read any book published in 2014, so the list would be empty. Now, movies.... The top 10 would include Dead Snow 2 at position 1, and nothing else. I have watched several not-so-mediocre 2014 movies, but the not-so-mediocre don't belong to a top 10. However, the top -10 would have 2,000 entries. The winning trio that immediately come to my mind, the 3 most amazingly shitty pieces of crap movies, the ugliest vomits of pus I saw that passed as cinema this year were undoubtedly Transcendence, Lucy and Robocop (and Noah, let's make the top -3 a trilogy in 4 parts). Yes, I saw several other shits of Olympic status (like the incredibly boring nullification of humor: Space Station 76), but these 3 were so fucking bad they were good. Extreme LOL factor, shining masterpieces of ridicule, greatest waste of pixels and petroleum. True, I haven't watched Divergent, Hunger Games, Exodus or Interstellar yet, and these are all very promising too. If you have recommendations regarding other such children movies, leave a comment. But why, why should I waste more time on bad movies, you ask? Any book would be superior, and I enjoy reading while listening to loud music at the same time, so if the book is bad, I didn't entirely waste my time, whereas a bad movie is always a complete loss. Not mentioning neuron atrophy. Yes, but watching a bad movie is such an easy way to feel superior (to the subhumans who made it) that it must be good for the immune system. I should be starting a bad-cinema-therapy business. Ommmmmm, the universe is talking shit to you, the universe is abundant with worse than yourself, don't you feel better already? It'll be $450.
Also, I would have liked to shit once more on the Zero Theorem, but it was released in 2013. 
Don't forget: download, don't pay for movies. May the movie industry disappear to /dev/null forever. Download music | books and buy those you like! Play chess! Amen.

One last word about terror and massacres:


  1. amen to your last rant and never forget thanks to the terrorist, Chalie who was totaly broken and seeling about 30000 copy of their fanzine now needs to print their last number to 7.000.000 copies (okay i'll agree this won't last long)!!! there might have a god finaly....(or the economists were right, firing someone is always good for the business)

  2. Enfer Magazine tirait entre 30 000 et 60 000 en 1983. Maximum Rock'n'Roll dépassait 50 000 dans les années 80. LOL.

  3. god's not dead takes the cake for worst movie not just on 2014 but of all time. 12 days to kill was pretty stupid. these were the only two movies I watched from 2014. note, I only watched gnd because I was just short of being bound and dragged to see it

    1. Just watched the trailer for God's Not Dead. I'm fucking impressed! I have to see this, and Sharknado 2. Thanks for the tip!




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